1st & 2nd
by: Pili Nathaniel
The food sucks and the owner is a bitch. Glad it’s closing.
So sad 1st and 2nd is closing. That place is the best! I think even my parents went there back in the day. They’ll probably replace it with some cookie cutter Starbucks bar where the staff will suck your dick with a shit eating smile. Would you like a towely with that sir. Gentrification of the lower east side. So. Fucking. Sad.
I can not believe 1st and 2nd is closing. This is my first post on this website and I’m only posting to give you young kids a history lesson. That bar used to be an old soda shop in the 1920s. Kincaid Jones, the youngest son of Ol’Mister Jones took it over during the depression and sold moonshine on the side.
Went there on a Wednesday a few weeks back. Pretty slow going. Bar staff was cool though.
“Holy muther fing god this place is EPIC! I’ve been a reg here for years… Had my 21st birthday, threw up for the first time… This place is the go to dive for me! But last night was CRAZY!
The owner… This curly black haired sexy leggy fucking hot mess named Roquel. She’s like 24 or something and runs the place. Think her dad got sick and she took over a few years back. She was yelling and I mean screaming red faced “fuck you” expletives at one of the bartenders this guy Kevin (rumor has it that they used to date but ….well) the other bartenders just laughed and did their thing around them. And it was ten deep packed solid at this place.
Anyway the bar was loud and crowded and rocking but these two were screaming and yellin over it all.
The best part: all of a sudden Kev fuckin pushes everything off their service bar, knocking two hot waitresses to the side, lifts Roq and throws her onto the bar. They start going at it! Eating each other on the bar in front of everyone!
I fucking swear!!! The entire bar paused for like ten seconds to watch. And then we all erupted! Fucking exploded Man!!! The bartenders the waitresses the entire fucking Dive hollered and cheered like it was a frikken Jets game or something. The only thing that kept them from actually fucking there on the bar was their fucking jeans man.
When Kev finally let her go, Roq was all smiles and then she fucking pummels him in the face. Doesn’t even faze him. Still fucking laughing… The both of them. Crazy Epic. I’m telling this one to my grandkids one day.
For all of you who’ve never been to 1st and 2nd… Tonight is the LAST NIGHT! Get there!!!
Oh… And I took a video of last nights bar sex show look up “1st and 2nd Sex Gods.” on YouTube!!!
Fucking Yelp. Someone fucking help me. I look towards the old ceiling of my bar. My Bar. My home. I’ve lived in this bar my entire life and I will lose it tomorrow.
Boom boom boom. The ceiling blurs as I bang my head against the hard old bar.
I will lay here on my bar until the stupid lawyers/community board/police/ construction crew/wrecking ball come to rip me off of it.